"The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - never knowing."
-Jim Rohn


Every year, my parents ask me what I want for my birthday and my response is always:
i don't know.

Upon wondering on this idea, I became aware that maybe I don't how answer this question because most of the things I desire the most-"most" being the key word- are not necessarily something they can buy. This sounds incredibly absurd and cliche, I know, but it really is true.
One thing I've realized about myself is that I hardly know what I want. I'm very indecisive, i can't make up my mind. It's really hard for me to make a quick decision without regretting it a few minutes later, but regardless, there are a few things that I know want, need, and would like to experience more often.

I'd Like...I Want...I Need (no specific order of importance):

1. more rainy days in Arizona.
2. to move to Seattle
3. a boy to hold my hand unexpectedly while walking.
4. more variety and chic accessories in my closet
5. I want/need/ would like a few pounds to magically disappear in order for #4 to actually happen
6. to feel smart once again
7. someone to dedicate a love song to me
8. learn how to ice skate.
9. to be less clumsy
10. to spend more time around kids (and them actually enjoy being around me)
11. to learn how to write like my brother does
12. a person to give me a hug out of the blue because they know that hugs always cheer me up after a bad day...or even if it hasn't been a bad day. Hugs are always nice when you get them from people who mean something to you.
13. to know what falling in love feels like
14. go to a Chromeo concert
15. to meet new people
16. someone to tell me everything is going to be alright when everything tells me that it won't
17. to know that I'll make it to medical school
18. don't want to regret so many things
19. to forget the past and gain confidence
20. to go to the ocean more often
21. a pair of new flats or super comfortable shoes
22. to truly experience a sunrise or sunset
23. a new, and great looking haircut
24. to be more outgoing
25. i want to learn how to show my emotions instead of hiding them
26. to be able to actually make it clear that I like a boy instead of ignoring him because I'm afraid he'll find out that I like him.
27. my braces to come off and have a nice smile
28. to get out of the city and go to the countryside
29. i need to pay more attention to my family and show that I actually care
30. to take more risks and not over-analyze everything
31. to learn how to make great "small talk" as well as long lasting deep conversations
32. to go to a park and just lay down on the grass to look at the sky
33. to learn how to be a better person so I can be the woman I've always wanted to be

*sigh...long list isn't it?

Currently Listening To: "Melt My Heart To Stone" by Adele.