[Sigh]Anyway, I wanted to mention this movie because this week has been extremely hard for me. My life seems to have become so hectic all of the sudden and the weight of my responsibilities are making it almost impossible to keep moving forward. Throughout week and last I've realized that being an adult and taking charge of your own life is difficult and exhausting but, like I said in previous posts, it is a part of growing up. This week has been especially hard because I can't help to feel like no matter what I do, nothing ever comes out right. I hope this wave of wave of negativeness goes away soon or else I'll loose my mind.

I keep on wondering about tons of what ifs and I hate it. I wonder what would've happened if I had not lost my head over "things" that will seem dumb in few months from now. I can't help feeling guilty because I know I would've made life easier for me if I hadn't gone head over heels...I wouldn't have let others down either. What if I had put a little more effort into school? What if I would have decided to extract all the unnecessary components from my life that make it hard to keep my head up? What if I had realized sooner that I was falling into the wrong path? What if I had done a little better in my classes? What if i could brag about being a good student and a good person? AND THE LIST KEEPS GOING AND GOING.

Thinking about all this drains me.

This week I received really good advice from a girl I hardly know. It still amazes me how nice people are, they give so much without really knowing you. She told me that I really need to stop judging and forgive myself for anything I might have done because this is the only way to start on a clean slate and start breathing again. Her words were like medicine. Following her advice is hard, but I am determined to follow it. Ever since her advice I've decided to focus on the good stuff that happens each day. Like for example having gone to Ximena Sarinana's concert, spending time with my brother each day of my life, spending time with my parents and hugging them each morning, and having family group hugs. I love the fact that today my parents bought me my favorite snack so I could eat it as soon as I got in the car after being picked up from school, it completely made my day and erased all the crap that happened. All these little things overpower the bad ones.

So while it seems like the world will never cease to have sad love stories, or people who confuse everything for what it's not, and no matter how impossible the idea of stop living in the era of the what ifs and the self-reproach seems, it is quite necessary to learnt to get rid of all these things and negative thoughts. Why not focus on the positive things, the things that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside? It is necessary and essential, it is the only way to avoid ending up like Briony.