I've always found relationship stuff very difficult to handle, maybe because I haven't had much experience in that area but it seems like there's only two options: happiness or heartache. I think In for the Kill by La Roux is a perfect title to describe the dating scene. It's like when you like someone at first...well most of the time...you're not sure if they like you too. The uncertainty of the situation is unbearable, but in the end they either like you or not and in the process of finding out your heart can flourish in ways you never knew existed or it could be "withered by the sun." Yes, I'm being a bit melodramatic but like I said, I haven't had much experience so I'm only guessing here.
For me it's always been hard to find out if a guy I like likes me too because, when I like someone I usually ignore them, I try not to talk to them or have anything to do with them for the fear of him knowing that I like him. Stupid, I know! I just don't know how to deal with those situations, and I'm not sure if or how I can deal with rejection, but then again how will I know if I never put my feelings out there?
If you haven't guessed it by now, I'm writing this blog because I'm starting to develop somewhat of a crush on someone. I'll make nothing more out of this for now, I guess. But this recent development had me thinking about my past "friendships" and it seems like I never open my heart enough, people are able to get a peak inside but they never get the full picture..it's always more comfortable this way, but I need change and I need it now!
I'm entering into this phase where I'm trying..and trying really hard...to change. I want to be this open, loving person. I want to be more attentive, more responsible, more loving, have better relationships with people. It's a slow process but hopefully it will lead me to a happy stage in my future, a future where being honest about your feelings doesn't seem like a war zone you can get out of alive or die trying.